The Dreaded DNF: To Finish or Not to Finish, that is the Question

This past weekend I went back to the Marina to run the SF Half Day. I felt mentally and physically prepared for this running event. I made the assumption that after hiking 160 miles with a heavy pack in Italy, running for 6 hours around the lagoon at Crissy Field would be easy. My body disagreed with the decision opting for a weekend of rest at home. My proud achievement for the weekend was earning my first DNF (did not finish.) Three hours in, physically, I could go on running. Mentally, I dug deep and felt no desire to keep running that 1-mile loop. I made (the surprisingly easy) decision to switch to the 3 hours and call it quits.

Quitting has a really bad reputation, implying a lack of commitment or perseverance. We are taught from a young age that quitting means failure. I am often complimented that I “got grit.” This experience spotlighted an area of growth that will benefit me in every aspect of my life -knowing when to grit and when to quit. I have always fought tooth and nail to achieve any and every goal I set for myself, trying to avoid the elusive DNF at all costs. With age comes wisdom, I can now appreciate that knowing when to quit is just as important as possessing grit. Both choices are essential for life’s journey. Grit is needed to achieve long-term goals. However, knowing when to step back, redirect, or quit a course of action is equally crucial for avoiding burnout and maximizing potential. Quitting can be a strategic move, a precious opportunity to pause and give yourself the space to reassess an unmet goal and uncover the path to success.

This recent experience has made me realize that DNF (one of the most dreaded words for a runner) can be taken as a positive: A.K.A Did Not Fail and simply DFN (Done for Now.) Sometimes quitting should be celebrated as the mature choice to not do the hard thing, to give yourself a break, prioritizing physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Our health is like a bank account, requiring regular deposits (healthy habits and energy boosters) to replenish what we withdraw (demanding commitments.) Your “heath account” grows with deposits and decreases with withdrawals. Within this framework, quitting can be a positive action keep a surplus in your health bank account. Taking care of physical and mental health is just as important, if not more so, than achieving a particular outcome.

The ultimate decision “to grit or to quit” is in your “why.” Understanding your purpose or underlying reason for doing something is crucial to making the decision whether you should continue or stop. If your "why" is strong and compelling, you are more likely to persist. If the "why" is weak, or if the situation changes, you may choose to cease, at least for the time being. In essence, the "why" is your compass, guiding your decisions. If your motivation is unwavering and the situation remains favorable, persistence is likely the better choice. However, if your purpose fades, or if the circumstances change, quitting may be the most logical path forward.

A DNF doesn't mean you should abandon your goal. You can use the experience to reassess and redefine your approach in order to get back on track. I find the idea that “winners never quit” highly counterproductive, actively hindering results and leading to undesirable outcomes in the long-term. Knowing when to stop unproductive pursuits is crucial for optimizing efforts and resources. A better approach is to acknowledge that sometimes quitting is necessary for winning. Instead of focusing on relentless persistence, “winners” recognize when it’s time to quit what’s not working, to change course, and move on to more productive pursuits.

When facing a daunting challenge, ask yourself whether you are “sticking it out” or “staying stuck.” Clarify your “why” and let it empower you to either persevere or to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, helps you grow, or fulfills a meaningful purpose. Be strategic between giving up and getting stuck running circles. Know when to be “Done for Now,” when it is time to stop and self-reflect in order to regroup, reevaluate, reset, and reengage.

Regroup: it’s about collecting the data evaluating the situation, resources and options.

Reevaluate: it’s about clarifying the “why” to make adjustments.

Reset: it’s about choosing a new course of action to resume efforts with a fresh start.

Reengage: it’s about moving forward with renewed focus and energy.

Reflect: it’s about applying the lessons learned for future improvement and growth.

In running, and in life, when you challenge yourself out of your comfort zone, you will typically have a mixed bag of "it's either a good time or a good story.” The things that didn’t go according to plan can be valuable as a story on the path to personal growth. It’s a common human tendency to label experiences as "good" or "bad.” This can be helpful for quick decision-making; however, it's important to recognize that experiences rarely fall neatly into these binary categories. Most experiences are complex and multifaceted, with both positive and negative aspects. When you set clear goals, every experience turns into a stepping stone towards your desired future, and every day holds purpose and meaning.